I ate a cookie every day this week.
BUT YOU’RE PALEOISH… YOU CAN’T DO THAT.
That’s exactly what I told myself. Which is why I did it anyway.
These past couple weeks I have been reevaluating my mindset when it comes to the food I put in my body. I LOVE eating healthy. I love going to the store and finding paleo-friendly foods that also taste absolutely amazing. I feel like I’m a pirate searching for gold when I go to restaurants and try to make my meal paleo-friendly. I LOVE paleo.
But I also love living life with no shame or regret. I love enjoying a cookie with friends at a girls’ night. I love staying up late with my husband and eating ice cream straight out of the pint. I love LIVING.
However, I have been drowning myself under a huge pile of shame and guilt that has been heaped upon me by no one other than myself. I bought cookies for a movie night I was throwing this last Monday. I bought WAY too many and ended up taking at least 15 cookies home with me. I walked past them multiple times, wanting nothing more than to grab one. Each time I walked past them, I could feel the cold, merciless hands of guilt and shame tighten its grip around my brain. How dare I crave a cookie? I was better than that.
The old Megan would have thrown the cookies away and gone for a run to remind myself of what was “really important.” But I am learning now that cookies are not the enemy. My body is not the enemy. I am allowed the freedom to live and enjoy something that’s not on my meal plan every now and then. And hell will not freeze over if I do. And I will not gain 20 pounds if I do.
So I made the decision to eat a cookie that night. And then I made the decision to eat one every single day until I no longer saw the cookie as something to be despised or feared. I forced myself to face the monsters and lies inside of me. I have never tried this approach before, and let me tell you… it was terrifying. BUT IT WAS SO FREEING. At first, I ruminated in my guilt with every bite. But after the first 3 or 4 cookies, I started to just simply see it as something I could sit and enjoy after lunch before class. It was simply exactly what it is… JUST food. It was not carbs that I didn’t need. It wasn’t extra calories that would show around my belly the next day. It was JUST FOOD.
Food freedom is a journey, and it is a long and winding one that sometimes feels like it’s a constant uphill battle both ways. But it is possible. And it is worth it.
Now, I’m not saying to eat a cookie every day for the rest of your life. However, if you want to and you can do it without throwing yourself into a pit of guilt, then heck, GO FOR IT. But the main point is to encourage you to face head-on those lies that you are telling yourself. Face them and overcome them.
I had a cookie every day this week. And it was wonderful.
This week I will be trading those chocolate chip heavenly delicacies in for some other snacks that I love just as much but are a little bit friendlier to my way of eating. Because for me, that’s what I want to do. And I enjoy it. Do what feels right for you. What puts your mind in a good place right along with your body.
Happy Sunday everyone. I hope your weekends were fabulous (and potentially filled with chocolate chip cookies like mine was(: )
P.S. Here’s what I’ll be swapping those cookies out for the next couple of weeks. If you haven’t tried any of these flavors, GO GET THEM NOW. I’ve had almost every flavor, and these are by far the best. Also, not pictured, Apple Pie Larabars are straight from God. That’s all I have to say about that.